London Fashion Week is an Inspiration to Us All

London Fashion Week drew to a close yesterday, and what a week it was. What a week indeed. One of the best. For those of you shabbily dressed ignoramuses (or ignorami as I like to put it despite the fact that it is clearly erroneous) that are unaware of the purpose of London Fashion Week (or LFW as I like to put it despite the fact that it is clearly pretentious) allow me to fill you in: LFW is one of the four major fashion weeks that take place around the world, along with Paris, Milan and New York. There are unconfirmed rumours that Swansea will be holding its own soon which will rival all others and so will complete the ‘Big Five’ global fashion centres. LFW is held twice a year, as once is obviously not enough, in September and February – one for lovely warm clothes, such as corduroy trousers and roll-neck jumpers, and one for the more clement weather, showcasing garments such as Hawaiian shirts and those trousers that have zips halfway down the legs in order to convert them to shorts should the climate become unexpectedly hot while the wearer is too far away from their wardrobe or shorts shops to be able to change.

Be prepared for literally anything with this trousers/shorts/shorter shorts kit. I bet Kanye West wears these when he’s on his holidays in Benidorm

The collections exhibited at LFW have traditionally been a good indication of the types of styles we can expect to see in the high street shops in the near future. For example these funky little numbers from Israeli designer Golan Frydman were showcased in February’s LFW, and now their influence can be seen in almost every shop in every town centre. Fantastic.

So what can we expect to see on prudent followers of fashion this winter? Tits and arses, that’s what. At least it will be if saucy seamstress Pam Hog gets her drafty way. Those outfits may look a bit chilly but the money saved on material can be spent on Lemsip and hot water bottles when the cold weather really kicks in. And there’s no denying that they look brilliant. But if your tastes are a bit more conservative you could always wrap up in a lovely outfit by Giles Deacon. A triumph.    

Of course LFW has traditionally been concerned with women’s fashion, so it was refreshing to see designers designing designer clothes for men at this autumn’s event. One such designer whose designs were showcased is Carri Munden, otherwise known as Cassette Playa. Cassette Playa has designed for rock greats such as N.I.A. Nicki Minaj and 2NE1, so she must be good. “Why have I not heard of this Cassette Player before?” I hear you wheeze. Because you are ingnarami what are not down wiv the kids, innit. And it’s Playa not Player. Let’s find out a bit more about this artist, shall we?

TRADEMARK PIECE: “The digital print silk oversized T-shirt.”

IDEAL CLIENTS: “A warrior and/or powerbabe.” 

THE COLLECTION: “Spring/summer 2013 is based on a four week residency I am doing at the Weltkulturen Museum in Frankfurt - the museum has an amazing anthropology collection from which I have selected pieces on the themes of coming-of-age rituals, body adornment and scarification.” 

I think that tells you all you need to know. And I think you’ll agree that a designer who is not influenced by coming of age rituals and scarification cannot really call themselves a designer at all. If Cassette Playa’s spring/summer 2013 collection is anything like their spring/summer 2012 collection we may all have the chance to look like this:

 

But obviously with a bit more scarification.